Letting go takes loves

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pitty. You can say that to me. I might choke on furballs if I only had cats to express my feelings, that way I could kill myself. Honestly, I don't even KNOW what I am feeling. I am moody, being senseless, restless and downhearted on a pretty useless situation. Yet, what I know may be just a small part of the whole situation itself, considering I know nothing but my point of view. Being a girl is a hard thing you know, one moment you're loving him like he's the entire universe and the other you're cursing yourself (or him) for even falling in love with each other. So that eventually leads to being pissy.

When I am losing hope, he came unexpectedly, almost magically and I see him as a blessing from God. You know what goes next, friendship, flirting, relationship, dating,...and you realize there's only two options of the 'end-product' of these. Yes, the 'Marry me' moment or the downhill path. I had a good laugh about it as I think back, the song 'Fifteen' by famous country singer Taylor Swift is 90% true to my life. 'Cause when you're fifteen someone tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them...and when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out'. So true. wth


Believe me or not, I blamed God for many many things. I thanked God for all the good stuffs in my life but it seemed such a mask, trying to be polite to God and all. Jeez. If you notice, in just a few mins it would be my 15th birthday. *SCREAMS* I'm fifteen already?! >> old. =.= Hey seriously it's not old lah people. Embrace your high school days as you'll never get them back. << witty. Even so, it's hard. In case you don't get it, adolescence is the stage of life where you got the first-experiences. E.g first date or even relationship itself. SCARY. Wouldn't be as scary as watching a horror movie by yourself (I'd rather cover my face with my hands all through the movie anyway). But yeah, you'll never know what would unfold ahead of you. Since God works mysteriously. 

Hurting is the price of Beauty. And beauty itself is, indeed expensive. Put yourself in my own shoes for a moment, what would you do if your boyfriend asked you for a break from the relationship? I mean, having the time out of your relationship with him right on the dot of time where you needed him the most (after not seeing him for quite a time). What if you missed him so dearly and yet you both didn't contacted for days? He said he wanted space though, and I'm gonna give him just that. I don't know if he still have feelings for me. Perhaps he fall out of love. Thus, I'm not sure if he's ever gonna 'resume' the relationship with me but it's what he need (or want) for the time being. I love him enough to let him go his way. Otherwise I would be such a ninny. It takes love to let go, even for awhile.

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