Dear Blog

Greetings all! How's February coming on? I am very glad to say that with every step I take, I feel the bare hands of God shaping me from within. It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Oh gosh It's been a year already! My last Valentine's Day was the most beautiful day I ever had in my whole life! First love is a legend indeed. Hopefully, this year it would be something special too without him, though the feeling woudn't be the same, not in a million years :( Now, here's a random video I came across via my big lovable bro, Schoffal Charles . His message is : Valentine's Day is not cool, so don't try to be cool! hahaha! You'll get the whole thing of Valentine's Dy tangled up and at the end of the day, its still an ordinary day. Funny enough, the video title is Valentine's Day Sucks. This video is so epic I laughed a lot; My point of view? I don't hate Valentine's Day, in fact, I treasure it like all the other events. After all, Valentine...

Tanjung Aru Beach, Kota Kinabalu. This was earlier this year, with my uncle's family. I didn't communicate much since I don't know most of them. Naturally, I cornered myself under a shady tree and meditated a prayer or two. Looking at the beautiful horizon, makes me feel closer to God. At that point, the point where a new year is taking it's place in my circle of life, it scares me. What if this year would be the worst year of my entire life? What if I can't catch up with what I strive for all these years? What if someone tells me he loves me again? What if I stumble in faith again? What if I don't have the enough potential to be what I wanted to be? What if I am not beautiful enough? What if I am not smart enough?  Lies. Lies of the world. No more slacking dear...no more. Thank God too, for the camera Jez left in my hands. I swear, with this technology in my hands, I am super active *click click -smile- I target kids and always kids - weird but true. Till toda...

Hello everyone!! I'm so excited! I got a new laptop and I assume it's my PMR result gift haha. It's maroon in colour and I thank God for blessing me with this technology. So the pictures of me would be taken by my new Acer Crystal Eye Webcam while webcam-ing with Beverly   :D One of my resolutions this year is to blog frequently and be more active in almost everything! From academic to sports, to social life and family bondage, I'mma jump right in this time. No excuses. I wonder what's going on in all the Form 4 students' mind right now. I confess -  its reaaaly tough being in Form 4. One of the dominant reasons are the subjects, they are obviously super new to a normal-rate human brain like me, not to mention I'm in a 'good' class which means a tight competition throughout the year. Now I really hate studies..T___T. But look on the bright side, oh never mind.... Being alert at all times is one thing in gaining control of a new chapter in life. How ...

Hello readers! How are you? I'm back!! Gosh how I miss blogging.  I hate the regretful feeling when I want to blog before the PMR exam is over. Well cheers to reality it's all OVER now. I can finally sit back and goyang kaki lol. Tomorrow my classmates are planning another outing in town. I had no idea what I want to do there, but friends are the best company. Besides, mum and dad are coming to Sandakan on the 26th and I'm so excited!!! So basically, I need to buy some stuffs to make their stay here a welcomed one. Even the shower foam in the bathroom has run out :O These days the weather is a bit damp, don't you think? Anyway, I can't wait to celebrate my first confirmation in church with them! It's also the first time dad's coming to visit, I sure hope there will be no last minute changes. My confirmation is on the 29th of October which is just a few days after my parent's arrival. I had my white dress ready months earlier and mum agreed to buy me a pa...

Silence teaches us how to listen, how to develop in us an openness to everyone. Listening guides me into the right position, opening the channel of receptivity. So, for receptivity I must clear myself of all negativity. I stand clean, bare, simple, stripped of artificiality then genuine communication begins. As I listen, I receive. As I receive, I feel and reflect and gradually move into concentration. Concentration is when I am completely absorbed in one thought, whether it is peace or love. Where there is love, concentration is natural and steady, like the still candle flame radiating it's aura of light.  When the human mind is absorbed in one thought, the person feels resurrected, and the harmony of reconciliation is deeply felt. In this silent link of love, one becomes fully reconciled, not as an intellectual process but as a state of being. I awaken. In silence, we desire to achieve personal perfection. Personal perfection is accepted as being possible. When I have to correct ...

pitty. You can say that to me. I might choke on furballs if I only had cats to express my feelings, that way I could kill myself. Honestly, I don't even KNOW what I am feeling. I am moody, being senseless, restless and downhearted on a pretty useless situation. Yet, what I know may be just a small part of the whole situation itself, considering I know nothing but my point of view. Being a girl is a hard thing you know, one moment you're loving him like he's the entire universe and the other you're cursing yourself (or him) for even falling in love with each other. So that eventually leads to being pissy. When I am losing hope, he came unexpectedly, almost magically and I see him as a blessing from God. You know what goes next, friendship, flirting, relationship, dating,...and you realize there's only two options of the 'end-product' of these. Yes, the 'Marry me' moment or the downhill path. I had a good laugh about it as I think back, the song 'F...

Everything's cool,.It's all gonna be okay..And I know maybe I'll even laugh about it someday, but not today, no.'Cause I don't feel so good, I'm tangled up inside. My heart is on my sleeve.  Tomorrow is a mystery to me. And it might be wonderful, it might be magical, it might be everything I've waited for, a miracle. But even if I fall in love again with someone new, it could never be the way I loved you. Letting you go, is   making me feel so cold  and I've been trying to make believe it doesn't hurt. But that makes it worse.. See I'm a wreck inside,  my tongue is tied,  and my whole body feels so weak.  The future may be all I really need.. Like a first love, my one and only true love, wasn't it written all over my face? I loved you like you loved me, like something pure and holy, like something that could never be replaced. And it was wonderful, it  was magical, it was everything I've waited for, a miracle. A...

Hello Hello! It's been a long time since I really sit down and blog about something. Can you believe it I AM ACTUALLY ONLINING FROM MY SCHOOL?! Lame. But there's certainly a list of advantages being a librarian. Well, Don't tell anyone I am using the Internet for blogging this time..Don't wanna get caught hahaha. I'm very tired considering how late I sleep these days. School was ok tough, same old boring day as the others. The highlight of today's school hours would probably be the BM debate competition. 3A vs. 3B class. Great.  I walked into the hall with low spirits and somewhat a little pain in my stomach due to God-knows-what. I've been sighing all day long thinking about homeworks and assignments that I've been avoiding and delaying, hoping that I would just 'POOF' into thin air and never come back. EVER.This year, life is colourless in comparison with the years before. Where things spice up so fast and anticipation builds. I stood on the sc...

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe." Just to update something about myself, I've been to the debate competition for the year 2011. Not as a competitor, just as an observer . My English teachers decided to put me in the next year's debate team. Oh I sure hope I could do my very best. The first round and the semi final was pretty tense. So, I'm sure you had an idea to what the final itself look like. SCARY. I brought a Handycam along, which means I got a chance to record the debate! My school debate team has put their heart and soul into this debate thingy but it seems like SM Sung Siew has the culture to win annually.  Thus, meeting them in the final round makes them, makes ME nervous too. Preparation was not strong on this third debate topic as we had not expect to make it this far. However, confidence and talent brought our 5 debaters such strength to stand proud and compete in finals representing the opponent. The titl...

Good day readers! I've been abandoning my blog for weeks... and yes, the main reason is study. Almost everything that I do involves movement and also brain exercising! I'm restless considering how little I've been sleeping lately. (trying to burn the midnight oil as exam is 1 week away). Despite that, everything is going on smoothly, especially my reconstruction of time management. I feel fresh and these upcoming 7 days are the only time I have to gear up for the finals. eeps!! Scared? Yes. Why? I want satisfaction. Satisfaction? Meaning I want to make myself proud with my own efforts and not just to sit back and let it be last minutes. I hated last minutes. Everything that starts on the eleventh hour usually crumbles my satisfaction. Not a good feeling. For this second semester, my goal is straight A's, hoping the B's will go away. English Language and BM, probably no problem. Math and History are the 2 subjects that always go for B's no matter how hard I tried...

Everyone is striving for perfection nowadays. The world just grows crazy and it screams at you from the ads : get the perfect body, the perfect house, the perfect car, the perfect job, and then you'll be accepted. I know most people wanted the best for themselves, and no doubt, me too. When people fail to measure up, they experience put-downs from themselves or from others. Where can people find their value? How does God sees you? Does He see your potential and value? and the question goes on and on... God the creator delighted in making you special. You gave him joy and still do. In the book of Genesis, it says that when God viewed His creations, He declared it was good. God created you in His image but no one is perfect except God. Designers and society may say if you look like this, you are perfect and good. But that is an opinion and a lie. I believe everyone has their experiences and own flaws.. but still, be grateful for who you are and what you are inside. Remember, that God...

Good evening everyone! I'm in a sad situation - literally and emotionally.. I've been training myself to control my jealousy lately. I was constantly jealous of anyone, about anything, probably just a teeny tiny detail and I would get excitingly competitive. Of course things are competitive at times. Each time when my friends or cousins had something better than me, I had mood swings and gets emotional easily. 'This feeling impacts negatively on our lives and it tends to bring out the worst in us, even though we all know better.' Nevertheless I still hated it.. It annoys me. Most of the stories in the Bible also relates on this word 'jealousy'. I force myself to believe that jealousy only leads me to depression , disappointment and so on. This 'J' word is ruining my life for now. It hit me so hard! Good thing I know how to tolerate. In this hectic place on Earth, I'm kinda rotting inside. Actually, I've been trying to keep abreast with th...

Good morning, readers!! It's dawn and I'm awake since I overslept on the afternoon, and this leads me to staying up all night, reading another series of Nancy Drew. Obviously, I keep changing my layout. I guess I've been bored nowadays but now, exam's around the corner and I'm still reading story books wth.. Nevertheless, I've been studying a lot this week, trying to get my mid-term exam into focus as each day passes by. They're always full with brain-stuffing of all kinds of subjects and I hardly remember some. Teachers also keep scaring us by telling us how hard the questions might be and trust me, when they say it's easy, it's gonna be hard. I don't know why, but I just know it happens. - to me at least. My English teacher shared that she hardly remembered what she had learned when she was around my age. I can see most students out there study for now . You know, you get good grades for this year, then the holidays came and once you're...

From the perspective of children, the family is a family of orientation : the family serves to locate children socially and plays a major role in their education and socialization. Day by day, life became more and more complicated. I just realized how hard my mum and dad try to work for us and for their own. There's more in the inside than meets the eye. People change, heaven and earth can pass away, but God's word will NOT pass away. One of the ten Commandments of God is - Honor your parents. I'm lucky to have them, I love them dearly, as my earthly parents.Thinking of my Heavenly Parents, and their limitless and eternal goodness reminds me that if even the tiniest bit of that divine goodness is in my nature, then I must have the potential to be a much better person than I am. I had no idea what's Heaven like, except that it's extremely beautiful and God's Glory light up Heaven. Today, I found that in this world, everyone is my family and we all belong to Jesus...